Expectations

As I have grown up, I realized I carry a lot of anxiety with me about a lot of things ranging from my financial budget to relationships and vacations to workload. I'm in my mid-twenties and have realized that this is a ridiculous way to live my life. My struggle, however, is how to cope with it.

Let me elaborate. 

In my early years of adolescence or being a teenager, somewhere along the way I was completely sold on the idea that life should be perfect. And I mean picture perfect. Not necessarily in terms of getting married, buying a house, having the standard American 2.5 kids, etc, but even down to the minut details of folding my clothes, never getting in arguments with friends or family, and even overdrawing my bank account. As I am a little older and hopefully wiser, I realize that this sort of thinking is very toxic to my well-being.

How do I change this?

The reality of it all lies deep in my expectations. It has nothing to do with actually overdrawing my account or my friends and/or family doing something wrong. It has to do with my thinking of how things will happen or the end result. The reality is that when I expect something or someone to change or do something differently and they do not, I become frustrated, anxious, and disappointed. Realizing that my expectations are what creates this anxiety and frustration is huge. It allows me to change my mentality and remain a little more positive about things. For example, when I (repeatedly) expect someone to be on time when meeting for drinks, when they have never been on time before puts me in a place of anxiety and frustration. Changing my mentality and expecting them to be running behind eliminates this anxiety and frustration and can help immensely. 

I am not perfect, however, and slip back into my old pattern of thinking. I was reminded of this recently when a very good friend of mine came to me extremely frustrated with a few situations in her life. In our conversation about her issues, I found myself explaining this approach to her, realizing that my own mentality has slipped in terms of my expectations. My mood and well-being has suffered a little bit by allowing me to be anxious and frustrated in a few situations.

It's nice to have those revelations every now and then. They keep us in check and really help us realize our growth (or sometimes lack thereof) and put us in check.