Sticks and Stones and Words

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

As an American child, most of us have been taught this phrase and repeat it to our 'mean friends' on the playground many times. Being an adult, I have to simply say that this saying simply does not ring true... for me at least. The past few weeks have been busy with work but I have also had very emotional and trying personal situations. These situations have taught me about a lot about myself as well as others in the areas of discernment, honesty, trust, self-worth, and negativity.

Let me start by saying, I am in no way, shape, or form, perfect. I am a human-being with needs and desires like everyone else and while I wish to always make the most admirable decisions, I indeed and give in to fleeting, temporary things. I will also say that when it comes to judgment, I generally beat myself up for things I do wrong, that I do not need the negativity or judgement from anyone else-- thanks to my amazing friends for pointing this out to me.

All that being said, I have been naive and genuine in trying to meet additional friends in Lexington and also trying to find companionship. Through all of this I have opened myself up to people who seem to be genuine people with kind hearts and similar interests, but can myself around critical very critical people. I have been pushed these past couple of weeks, feeling insecure and maximizing my emotions to a weakened point that I have not felt in about a year.

My lessons from this are invaluable. Discernment. I have got to open my eyes to red-flags and abnormal behavior and identify this in my life. It's not that I ignore them, but I need to limit myself and discern what is appropriate as well as what I can withstand emotionally. I have been through a lot in the past couple of years of my life, but have come out ahead of it all and refuse to be in that dark place again.

It's been a learning experience for me, in the least. I already feel stronger and, oddly enough, happier. Blogging about this experience is not easy, and not intended to be a call for help to my family and friends (I am fine), but encouragement to anyone else who comes across negativity in the world. Stand strong, and believe there more good in the world than bad... you just have to search for the strength within to wade through.

Busy Thoughts

To start, let me state the obvious and say that it has been over a month since I have blogged. The tail end of my summer has been full of trips, a heavy workload, local weekend festivities, and the overall dealings of day-to-day life. I've been to Michigan to visit a friend, Florida (Fort Myers to be exact) to hijack my parents' vacation, and put in countless hours of report writing/ compiling for projects at work.

Kalamazoo, MI

Picnic with the Pops in Lexington, KY 

View over Bowditch Point Park in Fort Myers Beach, FL

Things have slowed down a bit now and I have thoughts of days past and current that I am dealing with. I have recently become very aware of all I have accomplished in my 24 years on earth. I also am very aware of my dreams and desires for my life and realize I have a lot of ground to cover. The conflict lies in the fact that I would like to pursue a number of these dreams but doing so may not be the most 'responsible' or 'safe' by societal standards (and my family's).

My sixth anniversary of living in Lexington has come and gone and I find myself somewhat rooted here. My problem is I don't feel settled here, per se. I find myself desiring other things for my life and struggle with what exactly that is and making preparations to pursue other dreams. Thinking about pursuing dreams and settling down has left me with the difficulty of not growing complacent, bitter, or withdrawn from other activities I generally would enjoy because I am in Lexington.

It is hard to see what is on the horizon when you know you want a change of scenery or pace, but you have no idea where to start. I know I will figure out, but I struggle with my nature of planning it and having the stars perfectly aligned before I leap and sometimes we just have to go. 

Alas, time will tell what's in store and I'm going to keep on trucking now and "suck the fun out of this place" as a good friend phrased it. 

FIFTY States!!!

Today I am expanding my boundaries and heading to The Great Lakes State with a good friend of mine. (That's Michigan for those of you that may not know.)

Leaving for this trip got me thinking, "How many states have I been to in this mammoth country?" The answer is 23 (if you count Michigan). I've got a lot of ground to cover!!!

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Life and Love

There's been a few things going on here and there, mostly work and spending time with my friends. I threw an engagement party for two of my very close friends whom are engaged to be married in less than a year. It was a little stressful getting commitments and everything arranged, but it went off without a hitch and I think we all enjoyed ourselves.

These friends are very dear to me and I can see the happiness they hold in each other and it just makes me warm. They are also in the process of moving away and it has brought a lot of mixed emotions for me. I have mentioned before that I do not feel settled here in Lexington, but I don't know where to go next. I know I want the hustle and bustle of a bigger city and really any of the top 20 metropolitan cities in the United States would suite me, but that's kind of a broad start.

Thinking about moving and throwing an engagement party has also made my realize my single-ness. I remember being a young boy dreaming of having that best friend to spend my life with and this still holds true today. I am at a place right now where I would like to have that relationship and that companion, but I have also been through some tumultuous relationships and enjoy my freedom.

It all goes to say that I am probably exactly where I should be at the moment. I am busy at work, not sure where to go next, and content on my own right now. It's funny how we constantly wish for something and then suddenly you realize, "Wow. I'm in a great place."

La La Land

A close friend of mine got married last weekend in Southern California. I was fortunate to be able to travel to Los Angeles to spend some time with her and her family and attend the wedding as well as have a little vacation. This trip was much needed, for I have been very busy and I just needed some time away.

My friend's wedding was gorgeous. She put a lot of effort into making it her dream wedding and to make sure the guests enjoyed themselves. The wedding was in a quaint church in Orange County with the reception at an awesome venue down in the Newport area. I am truly happy for the bride and groom. They are one of those couple that are 100% made for each other.

Ceremony

Reception

After the wedding, I spent two days in Hollywood with a very close friend of mine from San Diego. We haven't been friends for very long but have a connection of life-long friends that I just don't find very often. We have a lot of the same views of life and have been through very similar circumstances. We spend the entire two days just talking, and some some sights here and there. We spent the afternoon at The Getty, ate at an awesome restaurant (Gladstone's) in the Pacific Palisades,  walked around Venice, got lost in downtown Los Angeles, and (of course) watched the painted California sunset.

The Getty

View of Century City from The Getty

Patio at Gladstone's

Venice Studio Shop

I had a phenomenal time. The weather was perfect, there was so much to do, and I had great company. I now understand why so many people choose So. Cal as their home and as with most of my trips, I want to go back.

Summer Fun

This past weekend I went down to the Red River Gorge with friends to swim and relax. We even took the time to jump off a huge rock.

Nada Valley Tunnel

The Jump

Gorge Famous Pizza

Ciclovia

Every place I have lived in Lexington has been walking distance from my work and at most a miles walk. My recent move has taken me a mile further, totaling my distance from work to 2 miles. Given my record of morning punctuality, I cannot walk this distance and have taken up to biking to and from work. I. LOVE. IT. 

My Trusty Steed

I got my bike from a friend of mine, it's an old girls bike that doesn't have any gears and comes with it's fair share of quirks, but I've bonded with it quickly. I love riding it almost everywhere.

Not only is biking healthy, but its fun, sustainable, and just makes me feel better all around. Not to mention it is in my blood, being Dutch and all. I have committed to Clif Bar's 2 Mile Challenge and have really gotten into it, logging my rides, taking different routes, even biking to the grocery store.

     

BIKING FACTS

• 40% of U.S. trips are 2 miles or less
• 90% of those trips are by car
• 12 bicycles can be parked in the same space as 1 car

It's not all fun and games though. You have to be smart, conscious, and aware of everything going on around you. I have been laughed at numerous times, had names shouted at me, honked at, run off the shoulder by bus drivers, the list can go for pages. But I have enjoyed it and really miss it on the days that I cannot bike (because of work).

My Evening Commute

If you have a bike and live less than 2 miles from your destination, I challenge you to bike. It may be tough the first time of two, but it's worth it!