Firm Foundation

It has been a busy two weeks for me and I feel like I have been running 100 mph non-stop. 

I have been tearing up Kentucky's Golden Triangle for work recently, primarily spending my days in Louisville working on an inspection program implementation. I will say for the most part, that I enjoy my job because it is constantly dynamic and always provides a challenge for me, but not staying at home has been tough and I am grateful when I am home in my bed.

In my personal life, the past couple of weeks have also been a reminder of the strength that I possess within myself. I am not always the quickest learner; I have always been a 'learn by doing' individual, that makes the same mistakes a few times before I realize something doesn't work. The difference is that by acknowledging my strength and standing up for myself, I have begun to realize when I am in the midst of something that is not working and am able to assess and correct this.

Between work and personal life I feel like I am truly growing up. While working hard on myself and enjoying all that I am so lucky to have, I have grown to a place where I am strong to stand for myself and focus inward and proceed upward. I was reminded of all of this today as I was catching up on blogs and stumbled across a note from Things We Forget that captures it perfectly.

It makes me feel at peace and really realize that, while cliche, everything happens for a reason.

Sticks and Stones and Words

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

As an American child, most of us have been taught this phrase and repeat it to our 'mean friends' on the playground many times. Being an adult, I have to simply say that this saying simply does not ring true... for me at least. The past few weeks have been busy with work but I have also had very emotional and trying personal situations. These situations have taught me about a lot about myself as well as others in the areas of discernment, honesty, trust, self-worth, and negativity.

Let me start by saying, I am in no way, shape, or form, perfect. I am a human-being with needs and desires like everyone else and while I wish to always make the most admirable decisions, I indeed and give in to fleeting, temporary things. I will also say that when it comes to judgment, I generally beat myself up for things I do wrong, that I do not need the negativity or judgement from anyone else-- thanks to my amazing friends for pointing this out to me.

All that being said, I have been naive and genuine in trying to meet additional friends in Lexington and also trying to find companionship. Through all of this I have opened myself up to people who seem to be genuine people with kind hearts and similar interests, but can myself around critical very critical people. I have been pushed these past couple of weeks, feeling insecure and maximizing my emotions to a weakened point that I have not felt in about a year.

My lessons from this are invaluable. Discernment. I have got to open my eyes to red-flags and abnormal behavior and identify this in my life. It's not that I ignore them, but I need to limit myself and discern what is appropriate as well as what I can withstand emotionally. I have been through a lot in the past couple of years of my life, but have come out ahead of it all and refuse to be in that dark place again.

It's been a learning experience for me, in the least. I already feel stronger and, oddly enough, happier. Blogging about this experience is not easy, and not intended to be a call for help to my family and friends (I am fine), but encouragement to anyone else who comes across negativity in the world. Stand strong, and believe there more good in the world than bad... you just have to search for the strength within to wade through.

Louisville in a Different Light

About a week ago I went to Louisville for the weekend. I stayed in Old Louisville, close to downtown and the University of Louisville campus.

Every time I go to Louisville in my free time, I see it in a different light. Each area is completely different from another and has a different feel to it. As a result, every time I go I leave feeling different about the city.

(Houses in Old Louisville)

(Row houses in Old Louisville)

I cannot say I left "loving" or "hating" Louisville because this last trip was strange. I spent the weekend meeting new people, trying new things, and being out of my comfort zone, but even a short time later I think I grew as a result of it. A mere nine days later I have a little bit of a different perspective about the life I have built for myself, my relationships (acquaintances, friendships, dating, etc), what I want out of life, and even self-reflection for how I evaluate (virtually) everything.

Sometimes it is nice to have that self perspective smack you in the face without even wanting it. It makes you appreciate yourself for what you are and all you've accomplished; it even helps you to relax a little and let things happen as they may.