Sticks and Stones and Words

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

As an American child, most of us have been taught this phrase and repeat it to our 'mean friends' on the playground many times. Being an adult, I have to simply say that this saying simply does not ring true... for me at least. The past few weeks have been busy with work but I have also had very emotional and trying personal situations. These situations have taught me about a lot about myself as well as others in the areas of discernment, honesty, trust, self-worth, and negativity.

Let me start by saying, I am in no way, shape, or form, perfect. I am a human-being with needs and desires like everyone else and while I wish to always make the most admirable decisions, I indeed and give in to fleeting, temporary things. I will also say that when it comes to judgment, I generally beat myself up for things I do wrong, that I do not need the negativity or judgement from anyone else-- thanks to my amazing friends for pointing this out to me.

All that being said, I have been naive and genuine in trying to meet additional friends in Lexington and also trying to find companionship. Through all of this I have opened myself up to people who seem to be genuine people with kind hearts and similar interests, but can myself around critical very critical people. I have been pushed these past couple of weeks, feeling insecure and maximizing my emotions to a weakened point that I have not felt in about a year.

My lessons from this are invaluable. Discernment. I have got to open my eyes to red-flags and abnormal behavior and identify this in my life. It's not that I ignore them, but I need to limit myself and discern what is appropriate as well as what I can withstand emotionally. I have been through a lot in the past couple of years of my life, but have come out ahead of it all and refuse to be in that dark place again.

It's been a learning experience for me, in the least. I already feel stronger and, oddly enough, happier. Blogging about this experience is not easy, and not intended to be a call for help to my family and friends (I am fine), but encouragement to anyone else who comes across negativity in the world. Stand strong, and believe there more good in the world than bad... you just have to search for the strength within to wade through.

Life and Love

There's been a few things going on here and there, mostly work and spending time with my friends. I threw an engagement party for two of my very close friends whom are engaged to be married in less than a year. It was a little stressful getting commitments and everything arranged, but it went off without a hitch and I think we all enjoyed ourselves.

These friends are very dear to me and I can see the happiness they hold in each other and it just makes me warm. They are also in the process of moving away and it has brought a lot of mixed emotions for me. I have mentioned before that I do not feel settled here in Lexington, but I don't know where to go next. I know I want the hustle and bustle of a bigger city and really any of the top 20 metropolitan cities in the United States would suite me, but that's kind of a broad start.

Thinking about moving and throwing an engagement party has also made my realize my single-ness. I remember being a young boy dreaming of having that best friend to spend my life with and this still holds true today. I am at a place right now where I would like to have that relationship and that companion, but I have also been through some tumultuous relationships and enjoy my freedom.

It all goes to say that I am probably exactly where I should be at the moment. I am busy at work, not sure where to go next, and content on my own right now. It's funny how we constantly wish for something and then suddenly you realize, "Wow. I'm in a great place."

Happy Friday

My life has been a whirlwind between moving, working, and maintaining (some sort of) a social life. One of my good friends sent me this video yesterday and it makes me so happy that I get energy to keep going. Enjoy!